Heaven, Help Me!

Well, my friends...I said it would never happen...but I now have one of THESE in my possession.  (Big pause for those of you who've fallen on the floor from shock...or laughter...or whatever.)  Yeah.  The aliens have invaded.

So far, I'm not sure what to do with the thing except stare at it.  All my life, I've had a love-hate relationship with the telephone.  During my growing-up years, my parents would NOT have one in the house...totally unnecessary, they said...which probably explains my lack of a social life in high school.  And once the offender made it's way into our household, it was rarely used.  Honestly, I never understood...and still don't...what everyone is talking about!

I am not a talker.  To those of you that are...please don't be offended.  Some of my best friends are talkers.  My MIL...one of my favorite people on the planet...is a world-class yak-er.  Give her a subject and she's off and running.  Me...not so much.  I'm a still-waters-run-deep kinda gal.  I prefer to write...to think carefully about what I want to say and how I want to say it.  So...a free-wheeling seat-of-the-pants telephone conversation is sheer torture for me.*

I can hear ya now, "Why the heck did she get a cell phone, then?"  Well, The Mailman and I travel quite a bit...short day trips and weekend getaways...interspersed with longer vacays.  And we leave behind our house and garden...TM's parents...and (usually) our two aging weenie dogs.  And we worry about all of them.  So...this little technological wonder is meant to alleviate our guilt in these situations...and nothing more.

I'm not going stand in the store and talk about dog food.  I'm not going to discuss the details of my friend's hysterectomy while at Kroger...in a voice loud enough to be heard three aisles over.  I'm not going to call TM from inside the bathroom stall at Walmart...even if it IS just to say "I love you."  And he has promised not to call ME from in front of the urinal.  I'm not going to text while my dinner companion stares at the paintings on the wall.  I'll turn OFF the phone during Jazzercise...I'm too out-of-breath to talk to you anyway.  I'm not going to scream obscenities into it out on the golf course (much as I may want to).  I'm not going to pace around in my side yard and have a raging argument with someone while my neighbor tries to weed her garden.  And I'm never...EVER...going to start a conversation with "Where are you" or "What are you doing."**  It's none of my business.  

All ranting aside...I'm happy to have the phone.  I think.  Although I'm still a little intimidated by it...and being accessible at all times is going to take a bit of getting used to.  Of course, I can always "forget" to turn it on! ;o)


*There are exceptions to everything.  When TM called me for the first time...I talked with him for FOUR HOURS!  In spite of the fact that I had NO IDEA who he was.  I knew right then that he was special.

**These are real examples of bad cell phone behavior that I (or TM) have actually witnessed.  Really.  A guy called his wife while using the urinal in the men's room!  And they say men can't multi-task.

In spite of worrying about my new cell phone, I managed to make some Halloween ornies for my Etsy shop.  I can't believe that Fall is nearly here...although it certainly doesn't feel like it.  They're predicting 98 degrees in the Hoosier state today!  Yikes!!!